Top 10 Ways to Ask for a Raise or Promotion

As one RD quote goes, “the moment you settle for less than you deserve, you’ll get even less than you settle for.? It maybe very painful to hear but this is true.

Salary is the primary reason we work our butts off all day. But not all jobs pay well. And even if our present employer gives us what the law requires and the conventions suggest, we still find ourselves struggling to make do with what we receive. If you feel that you have proven yourself as an efficient, competent and productive employee over time but you still find yourself awfully broke when the month ends, maybe it’s time to ask for a raise or a promotion or both. Here are the top ten creative ways to do that.

10. Second the motion. All the time.

Although having your own stand on the company’s many issues will show your character and wit, being the “second voice? has its own perks, too. Let your boss know that you are on his side all the time by acting like an echo.

Starting today, practice saying “I agree completely? or “I agree absolutely.? You can change the last word with another positive adverb as long as the first two words are “I agree.? Call it blind loyalty but you need a raise. The last thing you want is to play on a different team against your boss.

What is more effective? Eavesdrop on his conversations and then feed him back the ideas you heard as if they were yours. He would think you are of the same wavelength and that you know him too well you could even read his mind.

9. Park your car beside his.

You may think that this is ridiculous but parking your car beside your boss’s has a lot of advantages. Stationing yourself before and after office hours in the parking lot can help you ask for a raise. You may not realize it but if you’re the first and last person he sees every single day, you will seep into his subconscious. The next time he wants to promote someone, at least you have parked your memory somewhere in his mind.

8. Pull off an 007.

Yes, Bond, James Bond. Spywork is not really new to many workplaces. The truth is, some of your co-workers may be spying on you, trying to copy your work and make it look like their own. You can do the same but in this case, we’ll play evil.

Don’t spy for yourself. Rather, spy for your boss. Report everything that is going on in the department. The next time you hear your officemate say nasty things about your boss, prepare a tape recorder and let your boss hear it. It’s not like you’re being an office snitch. You just want to be honest and fair to the person you work for. You’ll get extra points for doing what is expected of you. Who knows? A raise, if not a promotion, might follow soon.

7. Plead on emotional grounds.

If you can’t pull off a James Bond, do a Meryl Streep instead. If you know no zit on how to do this, you’ll be surprised that it’s so damn easy. All you need are some fake tears and a sorrowful look to match.

Here’s how. One morning, come in late, crying. Go straight to your work area but make sure your boss sees you. He will sure come over or call you over. Once you and your boss are talking, he will surely ask you what’s wrong. At first, pretend you don’t want to disclose it but the moment he insists, spill it out. Say something like this, “I’m sorry I came in late. It’s just that… It’s just that I couldn’t afford gas anymore. Not even cab fare. I just had to walk all the way from my house and I just feel bad. And now, I can’t make up my mind. I don’t know what to sell. Is it my left kidney or my poor four-month old baby?? At this point, cry like there’s no tomorrow.

And oh, don’t forget to hug your boss while you do it.

6. Pretend you’re in demand.

Here’s a nice trick. Come to work in a very happy mood, as if you slept with Johnny Depp the night before. People will start asking why. Tell them that another company wants to hire you and they offer a bit higher than what you receive now.

If possible, tell these lies to your officemates one by one. Ask them not to tell anyone because you don’t want your boss to know. With that, expect that your boss knows the next day. You know how people in the office are. They act like rumour mills especially when it comes to things you forbid them to spread.

Once the rumour reaches your boss, he will negotiate if you’re such an indispensable employee. If not, bid goodbye to your current company and say hello to your imaginary new employer. It’s called “bad karma,? baby.

5. Pimp yourself through the family.

Another easy way to get a raise is to befriend a family member of your boss. Whether it’s his daughter, son or spouse, it pays to be a family friend. Your boss may be the toughest person on earth but his heart surely turns jello when it comes to his family. That’s what you have to take advantage of.

Once you and his daughter or wife are getting along really well, start your daily litany on how disappointed you are with your salary and how you wish to receive more because you have so many plans and all that jazz. Once your “friends? get the message, it will reach your boss.

What is so nice about this is that your “friends? will do the work for you with a passion. That’s what friends are for — taking and being taken advantage of. It’s a harsh reality, really.

>4. Suck up!

“Wow! Someone’s been working out!?

That’s what you should say to your boss the next time you see him. Sucking up to the boss is not new. Everyone does it. Most of them are just too shy to admit it but they do. You want a raise? Then prepare to say things you don’t really mean.

Ask your boss that you notice how he has been losing weight. Come up with daily proclamations like “That was the greatest presentation I’ve ever seen? and “You look amazing.? The drawback is that you’ll get the ire of your co-workers for incessantly complimenting your boss. But who cares? If ire comes with a pay raise, why the hell not?

3. Blackmail!

If you can’t get what you want the nice way, do it the hard way. It’s simple. You will need your detective skills here. Try to find out one of your boss’s dirty secrets. Have faith that there is at least one. We all have our filthy secrets. All you need to do is figure it out by unleashing the Sherlock Holmes in you.

Follow the scent of his dirty laundry and you’ll find a mistress, an illegitimate child, a corpse underneath his carpeted floor, or the best of them all, a huge flaming S&M gay porn video collection. Once you have uncovered his dirty little secret, it’s time to do the real work — extortion.

It’s going to be an easy ride from there. If you’re boss is the goody flawless type who doesn’t really seem to have any skeleton in his closet, make one. Set him up, hire a prostitute, surprise him, take some evidence and blackmail your way up the career ladder.

2. Use your body.

Why hire someone to seduce your boss when you can do it yourself. If you have the looks, the sex appeal and the “talent,? go for gold! And by gold, I mean “your boss’s gold!”

Most bosses are lonely and tired after a day’s work. Take advantage of that. If you have things you haven’t worn since you bought them, now is the best time to put them to good use. Find out your his fetishes and try to use it against him. You’ll be surprised by how easy this can get. Once everything is accomplished, it’s now safe to ask. “My performance was fantastic last night, right? Don’t you think it’s time for a raise??

1. Just ask.

Why resort to dirty and evil tricks when you can do it the clean way? Actually, the best way to ask for a raise is the simplest one — just ask.

Of course, it has to be planned, too. When your boss is in his best mood, approach him and pop the question. After that, explain why you need and deserve that raise. Highlight what you have done for the company since you started working. Back it up with statistics, if possible.

If you really deserve it, your boss won’t deny you that pay raise. Maybe he has been waiting for you to stand up and assert your importance to the company.

If you feel that your service is worth much more than what you receive right now, make a stand and speak up. It’s only going to be either a “yes? or a “no.? Lucky you if the raise gets approved. If not, then it’s time to rethink things over. What you need may not be a raise but another boss after all.

images courtesy of cartoonstock.com

Comments

  1. nagjojog ako dat nyt. sa nakita ko kayo sa tapat ng palma, sa oble at sa tapat ng engineering. hehehe. ok namna itsura mo. kaw talga. may paembrace embrace pa ha habang naglalakad sa oval .hahaha

    • paembrace embrace?!?!?!?!?!?!

      waaah. baka sya lang. haha. ayoko nga mag-PDA eh. hindi ako sanay. haha.

      nagja-jog ka? waah. sana nag-hi ka para nakilala kita!

      • tama. sya pala ang nagembrace. hahaha. hindi na ako nagpakilala kasi baka madistorbo ko kayo. nagjojog ako sa oval 3x a week

  2. # 3!!! blackmail!! yun yaya namin sa bahay nag-text “Ate kung hindi mo ako iri-raise aalis na lang ako.” san ka pa? ang sweldo niya 4k na anu pa ang hihingin niya? ay naku! nagmu-mukha’ng tanga na lang minsan ang mga amo kasi alam nila na kailangan na kailangan sila lalo na kapag yaya pa,kawawa lang ang babies

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