When I was young, my mum and my sister fed me ideas that I ingested and digested until I realized I had been Punk’d.
Wag ka lulunok ng buto ng santol, tutubo yan sa loob ng katawan mo.
I understand the intention. But hey, I actually bought that. I even went telling my classmates about it and discouraged them from taking in seeds of santol or any other fruit. And so eating watermelon suddenly became a painstaking activity. And dirty, too.
Imagine how horrified we felt knowing we had eaten a lot of guava fruits before. At tangena lang. Subukan mong wag kainin ang buto nun.
I believed it until the tiny little organ in my head called brain acquired information that it was impossible for a plant to actually grow inside the human body. But hey, I was just a boy.
I know I’m not alone. For sure, your parents have told you a lot of scary, traumatizing things that turned out to be untrue and utterly stupid.
- Matulog ka sa hapon kundi hindi ka tatangkad.
- Pag nabungi ka, kelangan mong ibaon sa lupa yung ngipin. O di kaya, itapon mo sa bubong. Para tubuan ka ulit ng isa pang ngipin.
- Wag ka matutulog ng basa ang buhok, mababaliw ka. Or mabubulag ka. (Depende sa nanay mo.)
- Wag ka kakain ng itlog bago mag-exam kundi zero ang score mo.
- Wag ka maglalaro pag Mahal na Araw kasi patay ang Dyos. Pag nagkasugat ka, hindi gagaling yan. May lalabas na pari at kanin sa sugat mo.
- Wag mo ituturo ang rainbow, mapuputol ang daliri mo.
- Wag ka magpapahakbang sa ibang tao, hindi ka na tatangkad. Pag nahakbangan ka na, kailangan balikan ka nya.
- Wag ka magsisinungaling, hahaba ilong mo. (Thanks Pinnochio for the inspiration.)
- Wag ka magta-tanga-tangahan. Pag nahipan ka ng masamang hangin, magiging permanente yan.
- Wag ka magne-nailcutter pag gabi kasi parang sinusumpa mo yung magulang mo. (Huh?)
- Wag ka magne-nailcutter pag Biyernes, may mamamatay.
Kumusta naman! Andami ko nang napatay! Baka ako pa yung dahilan nung 9/11! Nag-nailcutter kasi ako the night before! Haha.
ANLABO! Pero aminin nyo, one time in your life, you actually believed at least one of these.
Last week, I just told my nephew that if he kept on having fried chicken every meal, he’d turn into a big chicken.
Pasa-pasa lang yan. Pagkakataon ko na gumanti. Mwahaha.