This is a (handwritten) journal entry I wrote on February 19 this year. I just came across this page and it’s just nice to look back into my thoughts:
It’s not that I lack dopamine right now because I swear my cigarettes make sure I get my daily dose, but I really feel empty. This is not one of my drama moments. I just feel there’s something missing in my life, or something I still haven’t got. And I need to have it badly. I don’t know what it is exactly — or what they are.
The problem with me is that I want so many things and I want to have them QUICK. I want to do many things. I want to achieve so many things. I want to be so many things. Not that it’s bad. But the thing is, all my plans pile up that I don’t know what to do first and I tend to forget some of them.
Oh well. I don’t know what to do anymore. And it doesn’t make me feel good.
There. And guess what? I still feel like this. Aaaargh.