It’s Easy; Let it Go*

Note: This was originally posted on my previous blog last year. I just want to repost this because today is my dad’s third death anniversary.

Exactly a couple of years ago (now three), I lost my dad. Hmmm… Too bad I’m still here in the city while everyone in the family is in the province having a little dinner, perhaps.

Last week, there was a big yellow butterfly on a glass window pane in my room. I heard my mum tell me, “That’s your dad, checking if we’re okay.”

Since childhood, I have always considered that idea absurd. You know, that our departed loved ones’ souls sometimes visit us in another form — butterfly, moth, dove — it’s rubbish. But since my dad passed away, a big yellow butterfly always comes to our sweet abode as soon as September starts. It’s weird. Err… I’m not saying I believe that now.

But on Monday night, I woke up terribly freaked out because I had something on my right hand. I thought it was a small lizard or something. In utter shock, I made the eewy thing go away, but it was so stubborn so I hit the window pane with the same hand. Yuck. When I turned the lights on, I realized it was that big yellow butterfly that had always been in my room since the month began. In other words, I broke the window pane. And the butterfly, crushed dead.

The next morning, my mum asked me, “Oh, where is your dad (referring to that yellow butterfly)?”

And so I answered, “Err… I think I killed him last night.”

Poor daddy.

Edit: I had to delete the second half of this entry — the part about my lovelife. It just reminds me of something bitter whenever I see it. So there.
-pic courtesy of
*with apologies to Sarah Mclachlan (Adia)


  1. O sige na, tulog na’ko. Baka multuhin na ko ni Dad. It’s his third death anniversary and heto ako, puro libog nasa isip. Haha.

    Haha panigurado dadalawin ka non. Eh before, para hindi kayo mag-creep out, he came in the form of a butterfly. Eh pinatay mo. Ngayon wala na siyang ibang means kundi… uy, sino yang mamang nakatalikod sa likod mo? Nyahehehehehe! =P

  2. ganun po ba? parang anggaling nyo naman po magdala. honestly sir, kaya ko yun naitanong kasi “parang” hindi ko po nadama yung emosyon ninyo sa post na ‘to considering na tungkol po ito sa dad at sa lavlayf nyo..hihi. censya po sa puna…

    -uhmm, naniniwala naman po ako na hindi kau stoic. matatag lang siguro…

  3. “Err… I think I killed him last night.?

    Di ko alam kung anung magiging reaksyon ko kung matatawa ba ako ako malulungkot sayo…. Godbless na lang!

  4. Oooh, I’ve read this entry on the previous site. Loved loved loved reading it again. And again. And again.

    I have the same incident when I was littler, I stomped down on a poor pathetic black moth (mariposa) in our province. I just thought it’d be fun — the pesky insect kept on roaming on our room kasi. Only to found out that the mariposa was my tito pala. I was little then, so I kept on asking how can tito fit in that little insect. Anong ie-expect nila sa kin? Bata pa kaya ako nun. 🙁 does this mean we’re both murderers?

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