Guess who’s back! I’m finding it hard to blog about my nephew, the Promil Kid, lately because I rarely see him. He’s staying at my parents’ house in Batangas and I only go there once a month. Anyway, enjoy.
The Promil Kid is in a difficult identity situation right now. And years from now, it will require a big decision. You see, his mother (my sister) is a Roman Catholic while his dad is INC (Iglesia ni Cristo). So he goes to church twice a week. I’m agnostic so I couldn’t care less. One time, I was preparing breakfast when he walked in to the kitchen and had a small chat with me.
Yoshke: Where are you going?
Promil Kid: I’m going to church.
Yoshke: But I thought you already went yesterday.
Promil Kid: That was Mommy’s church. Now it’s time for Dad’s church.
Yoshke: Aah, I see.
Promil Kid: Tito, what’s your church?
Yoshke: I don’t have one.
Promil Kid: Huh? Why not?
Yoshke: I’m agnostic. I don’t go to church.
Promil Kid: You’re what?
Promil Kid: So in your church, you don’t have to go to church?
The Promil Kid then walked away, proceeded to the living area and sat down on the couch. He just stayed there. Minutes later, her mom came down from her room and found him there.
His Mommy: Oh, why are you still here? Your Dad’s waiting for you outside!
Promil Kid: I don’t want to go anymore!
His Mommy: Why not?
Promil Kid: I’m agnostic.
I was already eating my pancakes when my sister threw me a what-the-fuck-did-you-just-tell-him look. “Well, he asked,” I said as-a-matter-of-fact-ly.
LOVE AND iPOD
I was in my room watching National Geographic when the Promil Kid entered.
Promil Kid: Tito, can I watch “Monsters vs Aliens” on your iPod?
Yoshke: Uhm, no.
Promil Kid: Please?
Yoshke: Hmmm, last night, you said you love your mommy and daddy and Nanay (my mom, his grandma) more than me. And now you want to borrow my iPod? No.
Promil Kid: I didn’t say that!
Yoshke: Yes, you did. You said I’m your fourth most-loved.
Promil Kid: I said third. Mommy then Dad then you.
Yoshke: Sorry, not good enough.
Promil Kid: Second! Mommy then Tito!
Yoshke: Shut up, I’m watching TV.
Promil Kid: FIRST! FIRST! I love Tito the most then Mommy then Dad then Nanay!
Yoshke: That’s what I’m talking about. Yay!
So I gave him my iPod and let him watch the movie in one corner of the room. He had earphones on. Suddenly…
Promil Kid: Tito! It’s lowbat!
Yoshke: Really? Too bad. You can’t watch anymore.
Promil Kid: Charge it!
Yoshke: The laptop’s downstairs, I’ll have to turn it on and charge it but you will have to wait until it’s full. So you can’t watch now.
Promil Kid: I loved you more than my Mommy and Dad and this is all I get?!?! I hate you.
He then stormed out of the room. Haha.
BEST IN ENGLISH
After their pre-school graduation, I was surprised that my nephew didn’t get the Best in English award when he’s the only one in his class who can speak it fluently.
Yoshke: I was expecting you to be the best in English.
Promil Kid: I am the best in English.
Yoshke: How come you’re not Best in English?
Promil Kid: Tito, I told you. I’m the best in English.
Yoshke: Apparently, Gela is better than you.
Promil Kid: She doesn’t even speak English.
Yoshke: Why did Gela receive the Best in English award, then?
Promil Kid: Because I’m lazy.
Yoshke: What does that have to do with English?
Promil Kid: I don’t like answering questions on my test paper.
Yoshke: You didn’t like? Or you didn’t know the answers?
Promil Kid: I knew! I just didn’t feel like writing.
Yoshke: See? Next time, take your exams seriously so that you’ll be Best in English.
Promil Kid: I AM THE BEST IN ENGLISH!!! Seesh, Tito, you’re annoying!
He walked out on me. Well, he’s Best in Art. And Attitude.