The last time I featured Andre and his crazy antics on this blog was in December last year when I posted about Pasay City. A lot has changed since then. For starters, we are now working with the same company. And we’re not just officemates, we’re also in the same team. We’re also housemates. So you can just imagine how many doses of major major “crazy” I get from him every day.
Well, Andre is single. Very much so. And if you’re looking for a witty, brilliant, vibrant young guy who can brighten up your day with just a few words, Andre is for you. (OMG I sound like a pimp.) But hey, seriously, he’s a catch. And if you’re looking, drop a comment because he is looking, too. He has been looking. For a long time. Very long time. Very, very long time. Please guys, somebody just take him! It’s such a looong time already. LOL.
And much like the Promil Kid, Andre is actually a most-requested on this blog. So here’s a piece of him. Reasons why Andre is the perfect guy for you. Take it, take it. (Batteries Sold Separately.)
ANDRE IS CHARITABLE.
Andre and I were walking to our apartment building when we spotted this goodlooking guy having lunch at a carinderia near our place. He squeezed my arm. (That’s a sign of Andre having a chuvachoo-choo moment. Not that chuvachoo-choo means love; it could be just libog for all we know.)
Andre: OMG, Yoshke. Look over there.
Yoshke: Yeah, he’s cute.
Yoshke: But he’s kinda not your market. You know, social class-wise.
Andre: True. Pero di ba? Siya yung tipong OK lang saken. OK lang saken na gamitin nya ako. Parang gusto ko syang iahon sa kahirapan. Syeeet. Bibigyan ko sya ng pangkabuhayan showcase a la Wowowee!
ANDRE IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR OPPORTUNITIES
Shy Guy, Andre and I were having dinner when Shy Guy mentioned that from his office, they could see Jake Cuenca’s jaw dropping I-want-to-be-a-pair-of-briefs-someday billboard for Bench Uncut.
Shy Guy: Andre, di ba gusto mo si Jake Cuenca?
Andre: Haynaku, tinatanong pa ba yun?
Yoshke: Honga, eh di ba iniiyakan nya si Jake Cuenca.
Shy Guy: Matutuwa ka sa office namin. Mula sa cafeteria namin, kita namin yung billboard ni Jake Cuenca.
Andre: OMG OMG OMG! May job opening ba sa inyo? Kahit anong trabaho.
Yoshke: Haha, I thought you’re very happy with your job.
Andre: Eeeh, with Jake there, I could be happier!
ANDRE HAS TASTE
I was Facebook-hopping, jumping from the profile of a friend to another, when I saw a picture of this Facebook friend. So I asked Andre to come over to my desk and give it a gay gaze.
Yoshke: Andre, tingnan mo ‘to. Bet mo ‘to.
Andre came closer and looked at the pictures.
Andre: Ay shet gwapo! Sino yan?
Yoshke: Cute no? Pero bata pa yan. 18 yo lang.
Andre: Just the way I like it! Medium rare!
ANDRE WILL ACCEPT YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE. OR AT LEAST, HE’LL TRY.
On a separate occasion, I found a picture of another Facebook friend and showed it to Andre.
Yoshke: He’s hot? No?
Andre: He’s hot, alright. But…
Yoshke: But what?
Andre: You know. He’s hot. But he’s hot in a call boy kind of way.
Whatever that means.
ANDRE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING
While on a business trip, Andre had to share a room with another friend Felimon (name changed to protect his online reputation, LOL). They checked in at a hotel and stayed there for two days. At one point in their stay, Felimon’s mom decided to drop by their hotel room. SHE. WAS. SHOCKED.
Felimon’s mom was a little too uncomfortable with the idea that his son would be sharing a bed with Andre, a no-regrets damn-you gay guy whose gayness is always in season. You see, Felimon is straight but he has no issues with having gay friends.
The discombobulated mother talked to Felimon, “Ha? Magkatabi kayo sa kama?”
Felimon answered, “Ma, hindi kami pwedeng pumili ng room.” And in a desperate attempt to assert his maturity, Felimon added “Tsaka ma, malalaki na kami. Alam na namin yung ginagawa namin.”
WHAT. THE. EFF?
REALLY. WHAT THE EFF?
“Malalaki na kami?” Seriously? That’s your way of blowing your mom’s worries away? Haha.
Up to this day, Andre is completely baffled by why in the world Felimon said that.
But I don’t care about the reason. I just thought, “That’s sooo going in my blog.” And there you go.