Similes and Metaphors
HEADACHE
On the way to my boss’s house for a little booze session last Friday night, I couldn’t help bitching about my terrible headache. I was sitting in the backseat with Mads.
Yoshke: Gaaaahd, my head aches like hell.
Mads: Why?
Yoshke: I dunno. But the street lights hurt my eyes, too. Everything’s too bright. And it sends my brain to pain-land.
Mads: So it really aches? How painful is it?
Yoshke: Very. Very painful…. Like the first time.
Like whaaaat?!?! WTF. Wahaha. Steve, who was driving, and Kat, in the passenger seat, let out a little WTF-giggle. Wahaha. I didn’t know why I said that. Like the first time. What was I thinking?!?
(And just a clarification, I know you’re thinking that, well, it’s not that. Wahaha. Aright, too much info.)
RUSSIA
My housemates and I have been noticing how everyone we know seems to be gaining weight. So much weight. Ourselves, included.
Yoshke: Gaaah. I just can’t believe it. When I shopped for pants last year, I was always safe picking size 27 or 28.Β Now, I’m 32. And it’s only been a bit more than a year.
Dane: Haaay, me, too. I remember one of my Korean friends. He called one of my skinny batchmates “fat.” And she WAS thin. At that moment, I thought “God, if she’s fat; what does that make me?”
Yoshke: OMG. Have you seen ^&%^%.
Frances: Yeah, yeah, he’s sooo big.
Yoshke: True! When I saw him the other night, I could’ve yelled at him, “OMG! Look at you! You’re bigger than Russia!”
Hey, don’t judge me. At least, it wasn’t the Soviet Union.
PREGNANT
McDo El Pueblo. Kristel was showing us (Gil, Marck, and me) her brand new physique after gaining 20 pounds.
Kristel: I have yet to figure out why I gained this much. Maybe it’s work. Stressful.
Yoshke: Maybe it’s the lack of sex.
Kristel: Hon, maybe it’s too much sex.
Yoshke: Oh. Yeah? Haha. Maybe you’re pregnant!
Kristel got on her feet.
Kristel: OMG! (laughing) You did not just call me pregnant!
Yoshke: Well, it’s a possibility.
Kristel: You’re sooo mean. Do I look pregnant? Am I that huge and swollen?
Yoshke: No! I just suggested coz you said “too much sex,” and maybe some of Gil’s sperm slipped, coz I know you do it all the time, and…
Kristel: You called me pregnant. Waah, I’m that fat!?
Yoshke: No. You’re not… I didn’t… It was… I was just… <insert mumbles-I-could-not-finish here>
And then, she walked around telling some of our other friends thatΒ I told her she looked pregnant. And everybody was like, “Yoshke, you’re sooo mean!”
And I would reply: No… I didn’t… It was… I was just… <insert mumbles-I-could-not-finish here>.
Gaaah. I hate it when my words get taken out of context. Haha.
OIL
Last Saturday night at my dermatologist’s clinic. I’ve always been struggling to get rid of pimples but they just won’t leave me alone. And it’s been months since my doctor started my treatment. Apparently, being pimply and being a keloid-former are not a good combination. They make my life almost impossible to live. Wahaha. So I wanted a more aggressive treatment.
Doc: Oh, that’s too harsh. You wouldn’t want to kill your sebaceous glands. You’ll need them.
Yoshke: But all they have been giving me are pimples, pimples and pimples. And my face is always sooo oily.
Doc: That’s a sign of youth. When you get old, you’re gonna need that oil. In theory, you should be happy coz that means you won’t look old anytime soon coz your glands are still active.
Yoshke: Yeah. Very. Active.
Doc: It’s alright. You know it’s improving.
Yoshke: Gaah. I just hate it that my skin pumps more oil than Saudi Arabia.
Doc: Don’t be too harsh on yourself. It’s not like Saudi Arabia now. It’s more like… Kuwait.
Wow. Thanks Doc. That made me feel good.
COLONIZATION
Film Building railings. More than a year ago. Andre, Jumar, Munich and I were talking about “colonization.”
Munich: Yoshke, have you been colonized?
Yoshke: What do you mean colonized?
Andre: You know, colon-ized.
Yoshke: Oh. Not… yet. Wahahaha. It’s risky.
Andre: So you’re like Antarctica. Cold and frozen.
Yoshke: Not really. More like Thailand.
Munich: Have you been the colonizer?
Yoshke: Uhm. Let’s ask Andre?
Andre: Of course, I have been colonized! I loove being colonized. I’m like the Philippines. Whenever one colonizer leaves, another arrives. I let them explore my country, and I let them exploit my resources. And when I’m tired, I stage a revolution!
GO FIGURE!
image courtesy of hipark.austinisd.org, cartoonstock.com, weedcenter.org
Colon-ized? Ay ang babuy! Hehehe.
wahaha. sorry lang daw. HINDI AKO NAGCOIN NYAN HA. π
to colonization!!!!!!!!!
cheers!!!!
cheers!
Is colonization what I think it is, or do I not need to know? Otherwise some very interesting conversations here! Haha, I love the pregnant conversation LOL. Happens all the time with my female friends lmao.
it is what you think it is, eina. wahahahaha
OMG. I didn’t say that. You blackmailing ho! Hahaha.
wahaha. YOU DID say that. and im not a ho. π
Yes you are. :p
i am not. wahaha
andre! sinisira mo image ko dito. hmph. hahaha
Blaring lights give you headaches? Baka migraine yan …
hmm… siguro. hindi naman sya regular. minsan lang.
check-up na ang katapat niyan…
hmmm… napaisip ako ah, haha
I can relate with the whole pregnant thing. Madalas ko napagkakamalan yung ibang tao na buntis. One time, sabay hawak sa tiyan pa gawa ko habang nagtatanong kung ilang buwan na dala niya. Di pala siya buntis.
haha, huy in fairness naman saken, pumasok lang naman sa isip ko na buntis sya kasi sabi nya, puro sya sex. so ayun.
pero gago ka, buti hindi ka sinasapak nung mga napapagkamalan mo. haha
hahaha.. natuwa ako dun sa russia.. hehehe
wow, salamat po sa pagdaan. π
hehhe.. kakaaliw… π
btw, lurve the new banner.. =) the mind, the times, the life…. astiiig.. =)
mali pa.. sheeeeeeeep… the mind, times and life pala.. eherm… sori bangaaag.. =)
bago yung banner pero luma na yung “the mind, times and life…”. Yan talaga pangalan ng blog ko. π
Haha. You seem like a cool person to hang out with Yoshke. π I’m also struggling with facial issues. I’m going back to try something different. I enjoyed reading this post. Funny. “Like the first time,” huh. π
what is this something different that you’re gonna try? π
cool person to hang out with. naaaah. my friend andre is gonna disagree. haha
colonized! wahahaha!. first time ko marinig yan ah.
thanks for brightening up our days yoshke! LOL
matagal na yaaaan. salamat ulit sa pagbisita gravity. π
C’mon! Colonization! Lov’it! LOL
trew. kelangang ipalaganap ang kolonisasyon.
oh no.. colon-ized is sick! π ang kulit ng metaphors! π
colon-ization is so sick !!! π love the metaphors π
sick pala ha. *batok* hahaha π
hahaha first ko magrussia!!!!lol tnx yoshke napatawa mo ako
first time ko magrussia!!!!
tumataba ka rin? sheeet, ako rin. hahaha
Bakit lahat na lang ng tao tumataba?! Ako naman minsan pwede? Hehehe
hahaha! nice post. kapag masakit talaga ang ulo, kahit ano na lang ang nasasabi, just to lessen the pain. at least for me i guess. tawang-tawa ako sa russia. nice one.
i added you to my blog roll. π
haha, siguro nga,. hindi ko talag alam kung bakit ko sinabi yung like the first time. haha
ARGH I love reading your convos always. It makes me laugh.
This made me think I’m not bigger than Russia. SRSLY. I’m just Singapore or Macau or something. Heh
Your sex-related convos says something. Hmm?
SINGAPORE?!?!? WEEEEEH.
Anliit naman nun sobra. Iceland, ayaw mo? π
Ako parang Chile. Joke! OA un. LOL
hala, kinakausap na naman ako ng dalawang Kevins.
nakakalito kayo ha. hahaha
Pati nga ako nalito. Akala ko nga nung nakita ko ung isang Kevin, ako. When I checked the heyperlinked name, hindi naman blog ko ung lumabas. Hindi pala ako. Haha. π
like the first time? potahhh…hahahaha…
ibaka yoshke. ibaka!!!
ano nga bang naramdaman ko nong first time?
sige, sige, i-share mo kung ano naramdaman mo nung first time mo. haha!
NOW NA! :p
naaning ako sa like the first time. hahaha. nice one yoshke. π
salamat cecille. ikaw pa rin ang pinakamagandang babaeng bisita ko dito. π
pinasaya mo naman kame yoshke. colonizer ka? sure? hahaha
yeah, as of now. hahaha.
napakaamo mo kasi para maging colonizer. hahaha
hahaha. nakow, bossy nga daw ako eh, kaya inaakusahan nila ako na nag e-S&M. haha.
one day, magpapacocolonize rin ako. TANGENA. ano ba ‘tong pinaguusapan natin?!?!?
Hahaha.
oo nga. nabasa ko na rin yang entry mo abwt S and M. hehehe. pero wala tlga sa itsura mo na bossy ka. parang totoy ka nga nung nakita kita sa UP campus. hahaha. balitaan mo ko kung nagawa mo na yun ha. hahahaha]
oo nga. nabasa ko na rin yang entry mo abwt S and M. hehehe. pero wala tlga sa itsura mo na bossy ka. parang totoy ka nga nung nakita kita sa UP campus. hahaha. balitaan mo ko kung nagawa mo na yun ha. hahahaha
Haha, balitaan kita pag nagpacolonize na ko? haha, sige. haha (WTF) π
Oo nga eh, mukha akong bata. Lagi akong napapagkamalang college student (sometimes, high school) haha
Pwedeng tumambling sa usapan niyo ni Jake? LOL
high school? sobra naman ata yun. hahaha hindi ka pa na kuntento ha. kevin sure. sabay tayo. hahaha
haha, oo, dati hindi ako papasukin sa sinehan. eh siguro kasi nakshorts, t-shirt at backpack ako nun.
aha…anong pinanood mo at bawal ang mga bata dun? hahaha yoshke….
Liberated 2 yata yun. haha
@Jake: Ayoko may kasabay. Ako una, sunod ka. Haha.
@Yoshke: Parati naman ata masakit pag nako-colonize eh. Unless parang palito si colonizer. LOL
To yoshke: kaya naman pala. naisipan mo pang pumasok sa ganung klaseng palabas ha. dba its intended for straight viewers? hehehe
To kevin: hmm. anu bang minemean mo? jehehe
Jake, Bakit ba? Eh love ko si Christian Vasquez. CHika lang. Hahaha.
hindi ko pa kasi nasubukan manuod ng ganung mga movies. insosente pa po. hahahaha
well, Film kasi ako. Nung college ako, we had to. π
ay tama. nakalimutan ko. hehehe. magaling na excuse yun yan ah. sana nagfilm na lang din ako. hahaha
UR SO0 KINATAL
@Jake: Actually hindi ko din alam. I guess plain tumbling. Hehehe. Na-lost ako. LOL
kevin parang hindi tumbling ang tinutukoy mo dun. naughty ka. hahaha
Ikaw bahala kung ano interpretation mo. Basta ako, I’ll keep mum. Hahaha! π
wow. nice word, colonization. i’ve been a free country for so long now. hahaha.
haha, natawa ako. grabe. but free is good. π
when you’re free, you’ll miss the pain (parinig dun sa mga into S&M). lol.
Bwahahah. natawa namanako sa colonization.
witty!
ehehehehe. colonization is a trend, K? haha
Mukha nga. Ako pabagu-bago eh. Minsan colony, minsan colonizer. Hahahaha
i love this andre. history shows that it’s so true! haha. go figure.
wahahaha, sige ilaglag mo si andre. hahaha
colonize.. parang analyze din yan, right? π
and yoshke, re: headache, i think its “that.”
ruff, it’s not THAT. i have not done THAT yet. haha. HONESTLY! π
waaa didnt really understand colonization but not until comments let me figure it out
i guess you have a clean, unadulterated mind. π
Until the day he read your blog. Char! Hahahaha! π
gosh the colonized makes me laugh. andre’s reply is so funny. haha!
cheers yoshke. a very nice blog. π
thanks dust! ngayon ka lang napadpad dito! BALIK KAAAA! haha π
i’ve been reading your blog since september last year, i don’t know why just now did i though of commenting on your site. it always never fails to make me smile and laugh. thank you yoshke and i’ll come back , definitely. π
ehehehe *blush*
salamat. π
zomg! Andre is such a….hahahah
Excuse me po. Ano’ng ZOMG? π
wooohoooo…
malamang ngayon colon-ized ka na hehehe…
natumbok mo teh! wahahahaha
hi yoshke. naaliw ako sa blog mo. parang ang saya mo maging friend. π haha.
kung pwede ka makipagkilala let me know. =) ang saya ng blog mo!!! π
sure albert π
Yoshke: Very. Very painfulβ¦. Like the first time.
colon-ized is the word..
something new huh!
Benta yung colonize. Wahahaha π
L.T.D as in laugh to death ever.. really love this post.. like the first time thing and the colonized stuff can’t wait to ask this to my BI friends lol.. hahahaha