The Promil Kid Goes to Church

It’s been really, really difficult to feature my nephew here lately. I seldom see him since I visit Batangas once every three weeks. But finally, I have collected enough anecdotes under one theme. All it took was a little trip to Antipolo!

Blood of Christ

When I visit Batangas, one of the tasks that I need to do is to accompany my nephew to church. At first, I was hesitant to do this because I’m agnostic and I don’t believe in religion. However, since no one actually knows about this side of mine, I don’t really have a choice.

His dad is not Catholic so he won’t take him. Other members of the family attend the 6am mass, too early and too cold for a toddler. So the burden is passed on to me every time and I pretend I enjoy the priest’s homily and endure the physical workout that is kneeling and standing every now and then..

It’s interesting to go to church with an inquisitive kid. For one, I am always careful not to mention my beliefs (or the lack thereof). His mother wants him to be raised a faithful Catholic, hence the Catholic school and his obsession to Sto. Nino.

One Sunday morning at the local church:

Nephew: Are priests drunkards?
Yoshke: Well, it’s wine. It’s healthy.
Nephew: I’m not allowed to drink wine.
Yoshke: That’s because you are a kid.
Nephew: When I grow up, I too will drink wine in front of many people.
Yoshke: No, it’s not like that. Weren’t you listening to the priest? The wine symbolizes the blood of Christ.
Nephew: The wine is the blood of Jesus’?

He looked at the statue hanging at the end of the church. It’s an image of Jesus Christ, nailed on the cross, soaked in blood. He stared at it for what was like 10 seconds and turned to me.

Nephew: Why would they want to drink that?

He began scratching his head. And I answered, “I have no idea.”

The Old Man on TV

Last Sunday, my family and I went to the Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage in Antipolo City, Rizal. The entire time I was with my nephew. My sister and the rest of the family went inside the church and insisted that my nephew be left with me since the place was already crowded and other devotees chose to stay outside anyways. There were TV screens outside the church so the ones outside could see the priest and what was happening inside.

I was shocked when he asked, “Tito, can we switch that to Cartoon Network? The old man is boring.

Just Can’t Wait

Tito, is it over yet? Let’s go to Enchanted Kingdom now!”

It had only been 10 minutes but my nephew was already itching to go to Enchanted Kingdom in Laguna, which was next in our itinerary.

Yoshke: Well, we need to finish the mass before we could go.
Nephew: How long is this going to take?
Yoshke: Like usual. Less than an hour.
Nephew: (sad face) Why do we have to go through this?
Yoshke: We just need to.
Nephew: Why?
Yoshke: Because you won’t be allowed to enter Enchanted Kingdom without listening to the priest telling you that you have sinned.
Nephew: Why?
Yoshke: Because!
Nephew: Why?!?! (just about to throw tantrums)
Yoshke: You see that lady <points to a figure of Mama Mary in front of the church>. Well, that’s Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom! If you don’t stay here longer, she’ll know. You won’t like that.

He behaved like an angel.

Peace Be With You

We stayed outside for the rest of the hour. When the priest asked everyone to offer one another a sign of peace, my nephew, like always, looked at everyone around him as they say “peace be with you.” In front of us were a couple who kissed each other on the cheek and said “peace be with you.”

A bit surprised, my nephew looked at me as if asking something.

I said, “well, yeah, that’s how other people offer peace.”

He responded with just an “Aaah.”

Minutes later, while we were walking back to our vehicle, he asked, “People on TV always give peace to one another.”

A little later, after minutes of not talking, he just exclaimed, “Why did Audrey slap Dave when he offered her peace?”

“Maybe he didn’t like the peace Dave was offering. Perhaps he wanted JR’s peace” was my answer.

Before we could reach the van, he asked, “If it’s that easy to give peace, why do people always fight?”

Hmmm.

Hmmmmmmmm.

Tough question. Being a diplomat-wannabe, I tried to translate what’s in my head into something that a kid could easily understand but it was hard. So I just yelled…

“HEY LOOK! Cashew nuts! Come on let’s grab some.”

Comments

  1. wanted to laugh out loud on the Aubrey-Dave-JR peace thing, if only i wasn’t in the library hahaha

    hay kids talaga… so cute!

  2. At last! Meron na ulit kasunod ung Promil series! I missed your nephew, Yoshke. Hehehe. πŸ˜€

    ***

    Yoshke: You see that lady . Well, that’s Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom! If you don’t stay here longer, she’ll know. You won’t like that.

    He behaved like an angel.

    ***

    That’s my favorite part! Hahaha! xD

  3. ‘Well, that’s Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom! If you don’t stay here longer, she’ll know. You won’t like that.’

    the best to parekoy. lol ako..literally..hahaha

  4. pansin ko lang, tiklop ka sa pamangkin mo. hehehe

    may katapat ka na yoshke..

    peace!

    baka maunahan ka pa niya maging ambassador

    ambassador ng kakulitan, kabibohan, at kakyutan.. hehehe

  5. ang cute.

    nakakamiss ang promil kid mong pamangkin..

    sadyang mga bata talaga..

    and in fairness ah, avid audience of Tayong Dalawa?

    sana may magbigay din sakin ng “peace”..

    haha! πŸ˜€

  6. hello..

    bumisita lang ehhe..muntik na kong mapaatras hehe..english pala ang blog mo hehe..allergic ako sa english blog hehe..joke lang hehe..

    wow ha ang kulit at kiddo ng pamangkin mo hehe..parang chikiting ko lang hehe,,.makulet din hehe..

    parang kung yang pamangkin mo nakusap ko nose bleed na ko hehe..

  7. napaka-bibo ng nephew mo dude. ganyang-ganyan din ako ng bata pa ko eh, andami kong tanong. ganyan talaga siguro pag batang likas na matalino tulad natin. haha. apirr tayo jan!

    ang galing site mo. very nice layout. at inggitero ako. haha πŸ˜€
    ex-links? lagay na kita sa blogroll ko ha. whether u like it or luv it!

  8. na notice ko lang, kaibigan na ng lahat ng nasa blogroll ko kayo tas ako parang bago pa din sa mga blogsites nyo. kailangan ko na atang maging extra friendly.

    btw sigurado ang Dioniscio na that kid is adorable πŸ™‚

  9. the mind of an innocent child is so amazing… suko ka ano?! hehehe!

    lols to mother of enchanted kingdom! hahaha! meron palang ganun? hahaha!

    this was a funny post! MORE!


    I TOTALLY AGREE! Cuaron’s interpretation of the book was just perfect.

  10. Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom. :))
    The Dave-Audrey-JR part was most interesting. You really got your quite tied up with the promil kid. He’s really intelligent.

    pahingi naman ng peace. good day yoshke :))

  11. this is hilarious! i have fallen in love with your site now… i just want to laugh out loud… people at work are now staring at me wehehehe.. nice work mah man!

  12. you made me laugh sooooo hard with your Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom thing!! crazy. but yeah, it was brilliant! he he..

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.