One of the things my nephew, the Promil Kid, loved about me was that I had an iPod Touch. At the time, I would always let him play with it since I have an iPhone and we would only meet every month anyway so I figured, “What the hell? Here, play, go.”

In fact, he spent more time with the iPod than me. Or even when we were together, he was still playing Angry Birds or Tap Tap Ants or Drop Chicken or whatever new game I had. So it wasn’t a surprise that whenever I would come home (every month), the first thing he would say to me was “Tito, iPod.” He probably loved it more than me. Haha.

Boy-Meets-iPod Stage

“I SLASHED THE HELL OUT OF THE WATERMELON!!!”

That was what I heard my nephew shouted after trying to play Fruit Ninja on my iPod Touch for the first time.

Yoshke: Hey, you can’t say that word!
Promil Kid: Watermelon? Dada says it all the time.
Yoshke: Not that, “hell!”
Promil Kid: Why not?
Yoshke: It’s a grown-up word.
Promil Kid: Hell, hell, hell, hell…
Yoshke: That’s bad. If you say that again, you’ll go where bad boys are sent to.
Promil Kid: Where?
Yoshke: That place that is not heaven.
Promil Kid: Where is that?
Yoshke: Alright. To HELL!!!
Promil Kid: Whatever.
Yoshke: Where did you learn that word anyway?
Promil Kid: Tito, duh? You say that all the time.

And then he started mimicking how I act when playing and losing — eyes squinted, brows met, fist formed, and mumbling “What the hell?!”

The Will-Do-Anything-For-Love Stage

A repost. I was in my room watching National Geographic when the Promil Kid entered.

Promil Kid: Tito, can I watch “Monsters vs Aliens�? on your iPod?
Yoshke: Uhm, no.
Promil Kid: Please?
Yoshke: Hmmm, last night, you said you love your mommy and daddy and Nanay (my mom, his grandma) more than me. And now you want to borrow my iPod? No.
Promil Kid: I didn’t say that!
Yoshke: Yes, you did. You said I’m your fourth most-loved.
Promil Kid: I said third. Mommy then Dad then you.
Yoshke: Sorry, not good enough.
Promil Kid: Second! Mommy then Tito!
Yoshke: Shut up, I’m watching TV.
Promil Kid: FIRST! FIRST! I love Tito the most then Mommy then Dad then Nanay!
Yoshke: That’s what I’m talking about. Yay!

So I gave him my iPod and let him watch the movie in one corner of the room. He had earphones on. Suddenly…

Promil Kid: Tito! It’s lowbat!
Yoshke: Really? Too bad. You can’t watch anymore.
Promil Kid: Charge it!
Yoshke: The laptop’s downstairs, I’ll have to turn it on and charge it but you will have to wait until it’s full. So you can’t watch now.
Promil Kid: I loved you more than my Mommy and Dad and this is all I get?!?! I hate you.

He then stormed out of the room. Haha.

The Falling Out

As soon as I heard the knock on my door, I knew it was my nephew. He was always complaining about everything.

Promil Kid: Tito, how come you don’t have Wall-E in your iPod.
Yoshke: I don’t have it.
Promil Kid: You had it last time you were here.
Yoshke: Yes, but you asked me to add Cars, Finding Nemo, Astroboy and Ice Age. So I added them.
Promil Kid: I said “add” to them not “replace” them.
Yoshke: It won’t fit. It can only have 4 movies at a time.
Promil Kid: Why?
Yoshke: Because. If you want an iPod full of cartoon movies, go ask your mommy to buy you one.
Promil Kid: How much is it?
Yoshke: 14 thousand pesos
Promil Kid: How much is that?
Yoshke: Hmmm… You see your big Lightning McQueen stuffed toy? 14 toys like that. That’s how much.
Promil Kid: Whoah! That’s expensive.
Yoshke: Yes. It’s very expensive.
Promil Kid: It’s that expensive but it can’t have more than 4 movies? Why did you buy this thing?

The Break-Up

A few months ago, I arrived at my mum’s house in Batangas past midnight. As expected, my niece and nephew were already asleep. “Good thing,” I thought, “at least I’ll have enough sleep tonight.” At around 6am, my nephew woke me up.

Promil Kid: Tito, can I borrow your iPhone?
Yoshke: No.
Promil Kid: Please?
Yoshke: No.
Promil Kid: Why not?
Yoshke: It’s a phone. It’s not an iPod Touch.
Promil Kid: Can I borrow your iPod Touch then?
Yoshke: It’s gone.
Promil Kid: Huh? Where is it?
Yoshke: I sold it.
Promil Kid: You SOLD it? Why?!!??!!?
Yoshke: Since I got an iPhone, I never used it.
Promil Kid: But I DID!!! Can’t you think of something other than yourself?

The Promil Kid walked away crying. I ended up lending him my iPhone.

And now, he’s starting a romantic relationship with my iPhone.