Barako No More?

I spent most of my years in Batangas and although my Dad was from Masbate/Palawan, I’ve always considered myself a 100% Batangueno. I’m your typical Batangueno — great and proud of his roots. In Tagalog, magiting at mayabang. Joke lang. Pero half-meant. After all, wala pa akong nakitang Batangueno na hindi proud na taga-Batangas. Gaah, that’s for another story. Ayun na nga, magiting at mayabang. Sa madaling sabi, barako. Haha. My mother has a store in Lemery’s New Public Market. Batang palengke ako, ika nga. I used to roam around the market. My eyes, feasting on almost endless colorful arrays…

Typical Andre

A Typical Text Message from Andre Just when I thought I had escaped the z00-reminiscent insanity of my friends for the holidays, I received a message like this: “Waaa. Kumusta naman yung nagdeliver ako ng ham. Sabi nung customer ‘Thank you.‘ Ang sinagot ko ‘Good luck.’ Wahaha. Ang tanga ko lang.” Wahaha, agree, agree. A Typical Yahoo! Messenger Chat with Andre (December 22, 2008) Andre: Youre not going anywhere naman tonight di ba? Yoshke: Nope Andre: Raincheck daw Yoshke: Huwaaaaat?  si Jerwin? Andre: Yeah. May sakit Yoshke: I invited Patti pa naman Andre: Sa Saturday nalang Yoshke: Ah aright, kayo…

Dirty Fruits and Veggies

In the movie and TV industry, it is common for people to use metaphors when talking about things that we should not talk about (or at least, that’s what MTRCB says). So to avoid vulgarities, people use vegetables to refer to body parts that must not be named. Talong for male genitalia. Pechay for female. I know one director whose 6-years-old daughter had been so immersed to the culture of movie production that the kid would often hear the word “pechay” when the adults were talking about the vagina. One day, straight from school, the daughter exclaimed, “Ma, yung pechay…

We Grew Over It, Didn’t We?

When I was young, my mum and my sister fed me ideas that I ingested and digested until I realized I had been Punk’d. Wag ka lulunok ng buto ng santol, tutubo yan sa loob ng katawan mo. I understand the intention. But hey, I actually bought that. I even went telling my classmates about it and discouraged them from taking in seeds of santol or any other fruit. And so eating watermelon suddenly became a painstaking activity. And dirty, too. Imagine how horrified we felt knowing we had eaten a lot of guava fruits before. At tangena lang. Subukan…

Something Silly

Whenever my friends gave me a call in wee hours of the night, crying because they were madly missing their boyfriends or girlfriends, I secretly laughed at them. I just thought it was silly to weep just because they were not with the person they longed for. Sure, I missed people badly before. But not so badly it could push me to tears. I thought they were exaggerating. And for that, I wanted to slap them. Really hard. I’m not supposed to write this entry because it’s Sunday and I don’t usually post on a Sunday. But heck, I’ve done…

Office Distractions

Accusing Distraction Tuesday morning. Esan, a brand new co-worker, excitedly told me about someone she used to work with. Esan: Yoshke! I’d introduce someone to you! You’ll like him. He’s hot  and a real gentleman! His name is ^&%##. Yoshke: Esan, I’m already seeing someone. I’m a one-man man. I’m one loyal, trustworthy guy. Esan: Wushooo… Yoshke: Ano namang tingin mo saken? MALANDI? Everyone in the office, who, apparently, was listening: OO! Hala. Sabay-sabay pa. Singit pa nung isa, “At feeling mo HINDE?” Haha. Henaku. Hindi naman talaga… Repeating Distraction One boring afternoon at the office. Yoshke: If I tell…

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