In the movie and TV industry, it is common for people to use metaphors when talking about things that we should not talk about (or at least, that’s what MTRCB says). So to avoid vulgarities, people use vegetables to refer to body parts that must not be named. Talong for male genitalia. Pechay for female. I know one director whose 6-years-old daughter had been so immersed to the culture of movie production that the kid would often hear the word “pechay” when the adults were talking about the vagina. One day, straight from school, the daughter exclaimed, “Ma, yung pechay…
From Humor
Jokes and anything I find funny.
We Grew Over It, Didn’t We?
When I was young, my mum and my sister fed me ideas that I ingested and digested until I realized I had been Punk’d. Wag ka lulunok ng buto ng santol, tutubo yan sa loob ng katawan mo. I understand the intention. But hey, I actually bought that. I even went telling my classmates about it and discouraged them from taking in seeds of santol or any other fruit. And so eating watermelon suddenly became a painstaking activity. And dirty, too. Imagine how horrified we felt knowing we had eaten a lot of guava fruits before. At tangena lang. Subukan…
Office Distractions
Accusing Distraction Tuesday morning. Esan, a brand new co-worker, excitedly told me about someone she used to work with. Esan: Yoshke! I’d introduce someone to you! You’ll like him. He’s hot and a real gentleman! His name is ^&%##. Yoshke: Esan, I’m already seeing someone. I’m a one-man man. I’m one loyal, trustworthy guy. Esan: Wushooo… Yoshke: Ano namang tingin mo saken? MALANDI? Everyone in the office, who, apparently, was listening: OO! Hala. Sabay-sabay pa. Singit pa nung isa, “At feeling mo HINDE?” Haha. Henaku. Hindi naman talaga… Repeating Distraction One boring afternoon at the office. Yoshke: If I tell…
Another Weekend With Andre
FRIDAY NIGHT (February 6) Sa MRT Ayala Station. While waiting for TP Winwin who was at a reloading station, we couldn’t decide where to go and what to do… Yoshke: O ano nang kyeme natin? Andre: Depende nga sayo kung kekyeme tayo. Eh di ba nga may kyeme kang hinihintay? Yoshke: OK lang naman sa akin kahit ano. Andre: So kekyeme nga tayo? Kasi kung hindi tayo kekyeme, uuwi na ko. Dito lang naman sakayan ko. Yoshke: Gusto mo bang kumyeme? Andre: Gusto kong kumyeme kasi ayoko pang umuwi. Eh ikaw nga? Anong kyeme mo? Yoshke: May kyeme lang ako.…
The Promil Kid Goes to School
I’ve been sick since Monday. Tonsilitis again. Last year, I had this seven (or eight?) times. Gaaaah. Told ya, the relationship between infections and my tonsils is almost romantic. They love each other sooo much, they might elope in the near future. But if there’s any consolation, I’m losing weight FAST! Yay for that. Anyway… Guess who’s back!!! Because Tepid Rain isn’t from Heaven One night, I was in the middle of a barren land. A few months before, it was a cane field. Then my childhood started playing in my head again. This was where my brother and I…
Weekend With Andre
Status: SICK! TONSILITIS! My first this year. Music: Mad – Ne-Yo | Poker Face – Lady GaGa Last year, my friend Andre introduced Diego to me. And right then, I fell in love. Diego was just soooo nice and cool and fashionable and affordable. Oh, sorry, I’m talking about the store. DIEGO Store. Their items, especially their pullovers and shirts were so cute. The best thing about it is that since it’s not that popular yet, you don’t have to worry about being in the same place with someone wearing the same shirt. Exactly the reason I stay away from…
Similes and Metaphors
HEADACHE On the way to my boss’s house for a little booze session last Friday night, I couldn’t help bitching about my terrible headache. I was sitting in the backseat with Mads. Yoshke: Gaaaahd, my head aches like hell. Mads: Why? Yoshke: I dunno. But the street lights hurt my eyes, too. Everything’s too bright. And it sends my brain to pain-land. Mads: So it really aches? How painful is it? Yoshke: Very. Very painful…. Like the first time. Like whaaaat?!?! WTF. Wahaha. Steve, who was driving, and Kat, in the passenger seat, let out a little WTF-giggle. Wahaha. I…
The People Around Us
SIR HUBERT On the way to the Subterranean River Park, we were being briefed by our Tour Guide. He was telling us many interesting things about Palawan. One of us, itago na lang natin sa pangalang Sir Hubert, asked, “San magandang mamalengke dito sa Puerto Princesa?” At sumagot si Tour Guide, “Sa palengke po.” Tama nga naman. KAT One of my officemates was raving about the places they visited on the third day. Itago na lang natin sya sa pangalang Ma. Katrina Larida. “Grabe, ang ganda talaga sa Crocodile Farm! Andami-daming crocodiles!” Ay friend, sana naman madaming crocodiles dun bilang…