From Emo

My insecurities, fears, frustrations and other personal issues that bother me and challenge my sanity.

The Price of Intimacy: Relatives, Romance, and Roommates

MANDALUYONG CITY, Philippines — The thick dust that carpeted the floor felt like hotel grade cotton when I lay on it carelessly. It was the second day of painting our newly rented condo unit, and much like the afternoon before, I was alone tackling the gallons of colors. I stared at the ceiling and the…

From My Handwritten Journal: Not the Coffee Kind of Love

MANILA, Philippines — I have no idea what had gotten into me. Maybe it was the rain or the slow ballads that I had been listening to the whole day. I was feeling a little down again, thinking about my childhood and the idea of talking to a shrink came up again but the idea…

A Sharp Memory

It was a weekly event. Every Saturday morning, all the kids in the neighborhood, including myself, gathered at the living room of my grandfather’s house to watch Maskman (a Japanese Super Sentai series similar to Bioman and Power Rangers). Just like every other kid there, I grew up in a poor family and my grandfather…

Abandoned Dreams and New Found Being

A bittersweet smile cut across my face earlier as I browsed photos of my friends from the Foreign Service on Facebook. Four years ago, I was with them preparing for the series of the toughest exams, providing moral support to one another, sharing stories of excitement, fears, and dreams. While I am happy for them…

On Being 26 and Lost: The Birthday Post

I was drinking the other night and in between gulps of beer and shots of tequila, I realized that I still had not blogged about my birthday. I turned 26 last Tuesday. I have been busy. Yes, I quit my full-time job two months ago. Yes, I stay at home, in front of my laptop…

Twice I Heard Death

I was 10 when I heard it for the very first time. No one would look after me at home so my mother brought me along with her across the street to a neighbor’s. My mom offered a crying shoulder and a helping hand to the family. As she did some chores in our neighbor’s…

The Man in Bulgaria

“What’s in Bulgaria that is well worth a visit?” I asked a friend when he suggested that I visit Bulgaria after telling him that my ultimate dream was to tour Europe. For the longest time, Bulgaria had no significance in my life. Back then this East European state was just another country to me. I…

She Who Shines

She came walking slowly, sat next to me, and introduced herself, “Hi! I’m Astrid.” Her name means “star.” “I’m Yoshke,” I replied. Reluctantly, I shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.” The whole thing was totally weird to me.